Letter to Thomas

I didn’t understand true love until I met you, I didn’t understand unconditional love, but you showed me that it was you. I didn’t understand why I was being adopted into a family that I felt that could give 2 fucks about one, but you taught me at a young age that what I see gets better over time.

I thought I was the shit at 6 yrs old, but I didn’t know shit trying to be grown hanging around grown ass men. But you was my knight in shining armor and told me a young girl shouldn’t be hanging around any men.  T., you taught me about my period, about sex, how to get pregnant, etc. which I’m extremely thankful for, no lie.

You showed me going to school when you knew that I hated it so much, will open so many doors for me when I least expected it. I didn’t finish college, but just know that you were right.

What you didn’t teach me was that being on the wrong path can lead to many mishaps in life. But I learned it from the streets.

But the one thing I didn’t expect was for life to take my favorite cousin, my teacher, my mentor away from me when he knew I needed him the most. I didn’t know you was going to be racing on the highway to get to my graduation, just to get killed by an 18-wheeler. For a minute I blamed you, other times I blamed God, cause I felt you were the 1 person that actually gave 2 fucks about me. You broke my young heart and took him away from me until I finally realized that both of y’all were in the wrong on that dreadful day you were speeding and the guy in the 18-wheeler was drunk.

But the loss hurt me to my core. You was my best friend in the world. I didn’t know anything about shit and you was always there to protect me from different issues and teach me what I’m doing wrong. What hurts more is that you’re not here with me anymore, living your best life. I love you so much T, regardless of the distance your memory will live on.